Everything is Not Okay, and That’s Okay
Writing by Winnie Phebus
Graphics by Web Designer, Dina Kuanysheva
As students at Northeastern, we all have to deal with the stress and pressure of juggling classes, extracurricular activities, and applying for co-op. Or, you are a student on co-op, which comes with its own challenges. As the semester progresses, keeping on top of a successful student life while cultivating a rewarding social life can feel like a race against time.
Then there’s the pandemic.
With all that going on, it’s completely understandable that some important things slip through the cracks. Sometimes sleep is less important than knowing the state of the country, and eating breakfast can probably be prioritized lower than your GPA. I’m not going to lecture you. Instead, think of this as a conversation in print, typed up and technologically immortalized.
You need to love yourself more. I write that with confidence, because in all honesty, very few people are having a good time right now If you’re one of those people, congratulations. Otherwise? You deserve to take a break.
A good break, the kind where everything is silent, and you can sit or lay with your eyes closed and your senses broadened. The kind of break where you are just chilling in a dark room with some really good music on, and you’re not quite sure you’re truly awake but you don’t have to be. A break where you try to clear your mind — no thoughts of everything on the itinerary, no mental checklists, no panicking about midterms or finals or homework assignments. And if that isn’t quite possible right now, then you are allowed to take some time to yourself. Now is the time for those minor luxuries. The world can feel like it is basically ending, but that doesn’t mean you can’t paint your toenails, or take a longer-than-usual shower with a seven-step routine, or have a solo dance party. It is okay to do normal things in small steps. All I ask is that you treat yourself better than you have these last few weeks.
Because you deserve to have good moments. You deserve moments of peace. Right now, all I want is for you to take a moment to yourself. Breathe. Take this moment in. Now let’s get into what self-care is and what I mean by ‘love yourself’.
Self-care is a lifestyle — or a sub-lifestyle. Self-care is focusing on making sure all the parts of your life are in harmony. with everything going on lately, it can be difficult to juggle your emotional, physical, and psychological well-being.
Yes, face masks with your friends are fun and taking the occasional sick day to catch up on your hobbies is great. But if all you’re doing is performing these self-care rituals, they don’t actually help much in the long-term. The last thing most college students want more of is routine, but true self-care is the continuous strive for better mental and physical health.
Sometimes self-care isn’t the fun stuff. It’s finally making yourself call your doctor to schedule that appointment you have avoided for months. It’s dragging yourself out of bed and actually getting ready for the day. It’s making yourself take a walk because you haven’t left your room in days. It’s showering even if you don’t think you’ll have to see another person. It’s making yourself a proper meal and drinking all eight glasses of water you need in a day — or as close to it as any of us can get. It's turning your phone off, or at least putting it face down on a table, and doing something in the real, tangible world around you. Self-care can be washing your hair on time. It can be a calm cup of coffee or a stolen moment spent with a book or show. It can even be starting an assignment that has been worrying you for the last few days. Self-care does not have to be performative. Self-care means treating yourself well.
And yes, sometimes self-care is also the hair rollers, painted nails, soothing music, talking to loved ones, or taking well-deserved time off. But there are no lasting benefits if you give yourself that break one day and spend the next thirty days constantly studying and worrying about the world at large. Self-care has to occur on a regular basis. Treating yourself well can be hard some days, even feeling uncomfortable or unnecessary. But if you know you’ll be better off for it, then why not do what needs to be done? And if a largely influential pandemic is not a good enough excuse to start loving yourself, then what would be?
The world might not be ending. But if it feels like it is, then the least you can do is go down well-rested. If you tear yourself apart trying to be on top of everything, then there won’t be enough of you to appreciate all the good you and the world have to offer. University is stressful. Working is stressful. A pandemic — and constantly fearing for the well-being of yourself and your loved ones — is more than stressful. You are a human being, not a machine, and you are allowed to turn things off every now and then.
Lay your armor down, put away your pens and calendars, and just be. Loving yourself is the most essential habit you can cultivate in these hectic times, and it’s the most important thing you can do right now for yourself.
whatever you choose to do, do it for you.
You can start whenever, there is absolutely no rush. But remember that you are your best advocate — do what needs to be done. Sometimes, that means nothing.
