The Era of "Ghosting"
By Logan Roberts
Everyone has been there, and everyone knows the feeling: that pit in your stomach, questioning everything, and worst of all — the embarrassment. The epitome of the modern technological era of connection is getting “ghosted.”
Social media provides instant gratification and a web of connections. On Snapchat, you send a picture and quickly receive one back. On Instagram, you send a direct message and get notified when there is a response. The way recent generations communicate has been centered around these different social media channels that facilitate quick communication.
Modern communication channels make it easy to come in contact with just about anyone — and it is just as easy, perhaps even easier, to cut off that line of communication. The term “ghosting” is a common label that describes being cut off from a friend or potential significant other through technology and social media. It’s the sudden disappearance of a person, leaving the other party feeling upset and confused. For the most part, this word is commonly used in the modern world to describe the end of communication with a potential romantic partner. Young adults are attracted to apps like Tinder, Bumble, and Hinge. These apps typically avoid face-to-face interactions, making it even easier to cut another person off — and encouraging ghosting.
You can go from texting a person all day to never hearing a word from them again. This has become a common phenomenon in modern society and dating culture. It often results in negative experiences, with questions arising about why you were left on "read."
Even after meeting and connecting with someone in person, ghosting is still common. So what leads people to abruptly disappear from someone else's life?
Some people may ghost because it is easier, a convenient way of ending things. It avoids conflict and face-to-face confrontation, which can be a daunting task. Instead of being honest about how you feel, this pain can be avoided by simply cutting off all communication. A person might genuinely believe that this is a better alternative, stemming from emotional maturity. If someone is not in tune with their emotions or struggles with expressing how they feel, avoiding dealing with these difficult emotions may be preferable.
Ghosting does bring up several questions of ethics, no matter how easy it may sound. Is ghosting the appropriate reaction to disinterest in a relationship? It may avoid the guilt and shame involved in expressing to someone that you do not share similar feelings anymore, but what about the person on the other end — the “ghosted?” Doubt grows within yourself — you question who you are as a person and can grow self-conscious. It’s inevitable. No one wants to be left in the dark, especially when talking to someone with whom you are very interested.
On the other hand, there can be some ethical reasons to ghost. Take the first date as an example. You grab coffee with someone and there is no emotional connection. In this situation, nothing is really owed to the other party. It can be rather rude to tell them you did not have a good time. In certain situations, a ghost may be the appropriate action. Or, take a deeper situation. If someone is overstepping your boundaries, and the hint is not being taken — it may be the right choice to cut this person off. There is an etiquette to ghosting. In certain situations, it can be a good last resort. However, after a three-year-long relationship, leaving your significant other with no follow-up is downright unethical.
Ghosting has become a social trend, despite everyone’s awareness of how hurtful it feels to be on the receiving end. People ghost for many reasons and depending on the situation it can be deemed ethical or unethical. Nevertheless, ghosting is becoming normal now — a faceless, silent way to end modern relationships.
